I used to be a very fearful person. This was not how I was born, but who I became. I lived in fear of disappointing others or doing something that might cause them to disapprove of me. I walked on eggshells, tentative in my actions and hesitant in my interactions. I was constantly replaying moments from the past (Did I say the wrong thing?) or conjuring horrible visions of the future (What if I do something inappropriate?). As a result, my head was filled with negative self-talk. It was noisy in there—so noisy, in fact, that I am never sure how she got through the static, but she always did.
During this period of my life, she usually reached me through nature, giving me moments of peace. In fact, it was at my lowest point that a stiff wind, rustling through the forest of trees above me, pulled me out of my self-created hell, and I heard her plea directed at me through nature’s energy. Her usual loving vibration had been replaced with one of anger, and for the first time, I felt true fear. I instantly gained an awareness of who I had become and began my journey back toward balance and connectedness.
Aware but not yet awake, she and I met regularly to share meals and talk. I sensed in her a doorway to the single, focused, never-faltering connection with the infinite that I sought.
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Email Lynn at: LynnCrockerCreative@gmail.com
Lynn Crocker Creative 